When it comes to creating a life we truly want, it’s easy to look at external circumstances and feel trapped or defined by what we’ve been through. But if there’s one lesson I’ve learned from walking through my own fire, it’s that how we view our lives—the lens we choose to see through—changes everything. Let’s talk about why that is, and how shifting your perspective might just be the most powerful tool you have.

Why Perspective is a Game Changer

Perspective is one of those words that sounds simple but holds a universe of potential. It’s not just “positive thinking” or pretending things are fine when they’re not. Perspective is about choice. It’s the power to look at the same situation and see it differently. It’s learning to view life not just as something that happens to you, but as something you can shape and influence. And when you’ve been through trauma, hurt, or setbacks, reclaiming that choice is life-changing.

For me, shifting my perspective wasn’t easy. There were years of pain, self-doubt, and moments where I felt defined by my past. But eventually, I realized that if I didn’t choose to change how I viewed my life, I’d remain stuck in the very patterns I wanted to break free from. It wasn’t a one-day transformation—it was a gradual process of seeing my experiences as part of my strength, not my limitation.

The Science of Mindset Shifts

Now, this isn’t just “good vibes” talk. Science backs up the power of perspective. Studies in psychology show that people with a growth mindset (those who see challenges as opportunities for learning and growth) tend to be more resilient, adaptable, and successful in the long run. Cognitive behavioral techniques, which I often use with clients, are all about changing how you interpret situations and respond to them. In other words, you can actually train your mind to see things differently, which directly impacts how you experience your life.

So, How Do We Change Our Perspective?

It starts with small, consistent shifts. Here are a few practical ways to get started:

1. Challenge the Inner Critic
   That little voice inside that’s always quick to judge or criticize? Start questioning it. Ask yourself: “Is this thought helpful?” “Is it true?” Often, we find that the harshest thoughts we have about ourselves are based on old fears or beliefs that don’t actually reflect our current reality.

2. Reframe Setbacks as Stepping Stones
   One of the most empowering mindset shifts is to see setbacks not as failures, but as stepping stones. Whether it’s a tough breakup, a career detour, or a personal struggle, ask yourself, “What can I learn here?” Every challenge brings a chance to build resilience, to discover something new about yourself, and to add to your toolkit for life.

3. Surround Yourself with Empowering Voices
   The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our mindset. Seek out those who lift you up, who remind you of your strength, and who believe in the power of growth. Sometimes, a simple conversation can be enough to shift your outlook and help you see things from a new angle.

4. Practice Gratitude with Realism
   This isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff. Gratitude, when practiced mindfully, doesn’t mean glossing over pain; it means recognizing that alongside the pain, there are moments of joy, love, and growth. Try writing down one thing each day that made you feel strong, happy, or grateful. Over time, you’ll start to notice those small moments even in difficult days.

The Freedom of Owning Your Mindset

When we take charge of our mindset, we gain a powerful freedom—the freedom to live life on our terms. We stop being defined by what’s happened to us, and we start defining ourselves. I’ve seen it in my own journey and in the transformations of countless others: when you choose to see life through a lens of growth and resilience, you become unstoppable.

So, I encourage you: the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, take a moment to breathe and ask yourself, “What perspective am I choosing right now?” Remember, it’s not about denying the hard stuff. It’s about giving yourself the power to see beyond it, to create something beautiful from it, and to step into a life that truly reflects who you are at your core.

Final Thoughts

Perspective isn’t just a skill; it’s a lifestyle. It’s about showing up each day with a willingness to see things differently, to challenge the narratives that hold us back, and to embrace the journey as it unfolds. If you’re ready to start rewriting your story, I’m here, and together, we can uncover the power of perspective that’s been waiting within you all along.

Evolving involves eliminating so what are you ready to eliminate to achieve your goals?

Full disclosure, this has been a huge learning curve for me. When I begin, I wasn’t prepared to give up anything I was doing. I wanted to be a coach and I was determined to achieve that goal by doing things my way or no way at all. Well, my higher power wasn’t feelin’ that vibe I was giving off and intervened with a swift boot to my ass reminding me that if I wanted to attain and maintain my goals, I needed to start listening and healing so that is exactly what I did.

I was going back and forth about when to post again. I was actually torn about what to say. The self-defeating questions crept in...will anyone will even read it? Will anyone care what I'm writing about? And then I asked myself, why was I allowing myself to get so worked up about writing a friggin' blog post?

How surreal is this! I can't believe that I am finally living my best life! It only took 40 years to get here, but I am so grateful. This blog is dedicated to all of the incredible females who dared to save themselves.